🌀 Help! How to disclose that this is my fetish?

Mar 6, 2021

Although the most often question in everyone’s minds is “how to find a guy”, the real question is what to do with the guy once you found him. Let’s dig into that and see how to deal with the biggest issue: disclosing your fetish. And we are talking about both sides here, be it a Muslim guy finding the perfect non-Muslim partner, or a non-Muslim finding a perfect Muslim partner. The struggle is oftentimes very similar.

So, you’ve found the guy and everything is just great – he’s a great guy, he looks great and the sex is good. But, how do you go on about your agenda and your fetishes? The common problem seems to be the fact that he doesn’t know what you’re actually into unless you found each other through IC Discord, or some other group/app that directly exposes your fetish. Disclosing your fetish from the very beginning is rarely successful, and is best if it goes on unmentioned – at least at the beginning.

The struggle is real, especially nowadays, when everyone seems to be even more sensitive about racial, religious, ancestral, and other similar topics. Everyone’s #MeToo and we’ve seen some famous people like Aziz Ansari and recently Armie Hammer getting #MeToo-ed for not much more than just having sex while having strong, yet unharmful fetishes that expand into a grey-zone of what is consensual and/or even real (because, as far as we know – Armie Hammer didn’t actually eat anyone).

Inter-religious or inter-racial fetish is difficult to explain and it’s no wonder that many of us feel it is best to just keep it private for ourselves and sometimes express it in safe-zones such as groups or websites like this one. Combine the “weird” fetish with the fact that it also connects to gay sex – and it makes it just that much more dangerous, especially if you’re not out or are of a more strict upbringing/culture. So, yes, this fetish (and many others) are resembling a beautiful beach, but the water gets extremely deep and wild as soon as you actually go in it, and it’s easy to drown in it if you’re not careful. You don’t want to lose a great guy just because you wanted something-something extra in the sack, but it’s hard to keep on going without acknowledging it as well, especially in the long run. The problem with not disclosing it is that even though it’s actually fun for a while – banging someone or getting banged by someone who fits your fetish from the looks, religion, or background is fulfilling up to a point when it gets stale – and that’s because only you know what it feels like, but the other side isn’t playing along simply because they don’t know how and what you feel.

Being pressed to a wall while taking a circumcised dick in your ass or fucking an ass up against the wall with your circumcised dick isn’t just that much fun if the other person doesn’t appreciate this situation. It stays a fantasy that is in many ways not that much different from the fantasy you’ve lived through while jerking off in your own bed. Imaginary, just with another warm body next to yours this time.

From my own experience, diving too deep too fast is in fact counterproductive. You might end up offending the other person. The majority of people don’t like to be viewed as a representation of race, religion, or culture, especially not in the way that serves your sexual fantasies. It makes them feel objectified and it’s just that much more intense if the person doesn’t really know you yet and doesn’t know that you are coming from a good place in the heart.

I often suggest taking it slow, explore each other and allow this fetish of yours to grow slowly into your relationship. Introduce some elements of it gradually. Ask him to spank you while you’re having sex and let that sink in. Next time, ask for it to be harder and, again, let that sink in. Next time you might want to suggest some dirty talk or anything that leads you a step closer to that finish line, both in the matter of disclosing your fetish fully and an actual orgasm. Many times, already a bit deeper in the relationship, I would also send some of the videos from the IC Twitter page or any similar page to the guy and would be like: “this seems like a fun roleplay”. They would (almost) always agree and it has lead to many interesting conversations and even more great sexual encounters. But, the main point is – take it slow, as slow and steady wins the race. 

You have probably experienced the situations in life where you work for something vs. when it’s handed to you easily. The fact is, personally, I have always appreciated it more when I worked for it. Building your relation to somebody to this point where you can (almost) freely disclose what you like and be appreciated for it is a step-by-step situation, but let me assure you that each step that you make and every barrier you breach is also fun for you. In the end, you just might end up with someone who’s into the same stuff as you are – but just didn’t know it yet.

Don’t ever force yourself or your views or fetishes upon someone. When sexually aroused, it is difficult to control oneself, but always be aware that even if you are living your life through your own eyes – it doesn’t make this life a movie, and you’re definitely not playing the leading role in it. Everyone deserves respect, and that’s how you earn it back.

👁️‍🗨️ DISCOVER MORE OF IC:

🇮🇪 YOU4IC: Postcard from Dublin

Guest writer: @submaledublin I am a married bisexual Irish man in my 50s. I grew up in what was a pretty conservative Catholic country. Unlike many younger than me, I didn't grow up with the Internet. It wasn't widely available. I didn't have access to online...

🌶️ Thirst Trap: Fady Elsayed

Fady Elsayed (born 15 September 1993) is a British-Egyptian actor, best known for his role as Ram Singh in the BBC's Doctor Who spin-off Class. He originally wanted to become a footballer. However, he discovered an interest in acting while performing in school plays....

Twitter page suspended (again)

Dear all, It has been 4 years since I have opened the first page and started to be an active participant with IC on social networks such as Tumblr and Twitter. Many of you know this webpage from those social networks accounts. Unfortunately, due to the new ban, IC...

🕌 Eid Al-Adha 2020

Eid al-Adha is finally here, a beautiful tradition where we all come together to celebrate. The previous Eid was celebrated after Ramadan, a beautiful yet difficult period. If you see a Muslim man or brother then say 'Eid Mubarak!' Celebration of Eid al-fitr Eid...

📘 Adam West: Between the Lines

So if you have read my stories on Islamiccock, you know that they are all based on true events. Depending on your predilections, you may read them and wonder how it is possible to have such exciting encounters with Muslim men – it all seems so easy. Readers have...

🌶️ Thirst Trap: Sinan-G

Sinan-G (born September 1, 1987, in Essen, Germany), also known as Sinan Germany (formerly Sinan-Gold) is a German rapper and actor with Iranian roots. Sinan-G was introduced to hip-hop in elementary school through his older brother Roozbeh Farhang (German journalist...

🎵 The sounds of a Muslim male

Surely you have experienced it? Riding the train and hearing a manly voice on the phone; shopping for groceries and hearing a manly sounding conversation in a foreign language; hearing the manliest grunt while waiting in line at the airport?Hearing these sounds makes...

👳🏾‍♂️ A perspective of a Muslim man: Masturbation during Ramadan.

As we all know by now Ramadan can be very difficult. Not just the anticipation of wanting to eat all day but the yearning for masturbation and sex. "Muslims fast, abstain from pleasures and pray to become closer to God. It is also a time for families to gather and...
👋 LIVE FROM CHATURBATE:
🔥 HOTTEST STORIES FOR YOU:

This “turned” me Gay?

For the purpose of this text, and because it is a polite thing to do, let me introduce myself as Kyle. Kyle isn’t my real name, though, but it is a name that makes me able to tell you more about me because it creates a distance versus my real life situation. I am a...

📘 A man from Amman (Part 1)

Whenever I try to think about that special moment in my life that made me understand my true purpose, I always find my mind going back to Amman, Jordan. And to Youssef. It was a humid and warmer than usual May, on one of my leasure trips, first time after many years...

📘 A man from Amman (Part 2)

I woke up the next morning with my whole body aching. My back and shoulders, my hips, a tingling in my lips and a burn on my destroyed hole that I felt it would need a week to heal, everything reminded me of him and last night. I could even smell his scent on my skin....

📘 A man from Amman (Part 3)

With my mind on the breakfast that I was promised to receive, I barely slept that night, thinking also about how beautiful and special this trip turned to be, all because of Youssef. I could almost see him smiling to me again and again, like he did some hours ago...

📘 Before take off

“Have a nice flight, love. Call me when you get to the hotel”. “Sure, bye. Take care!” Another one of his fucking business trips, another weekend that I would have to spend on my own. This man has made me hate airports. Somehow all the nice memories that I used to...

📘 Before you ask (Part 1)

This is the first part of the story “Before you ask” by Ed.Click here to read Part 2Click here to read Part 3 When I was 19 years old, I used to live close to a famous university that is attracting students from all over the world. One day, I noticed a new profile in...

📘 Before you ask (Part 2)

A few days later, I received a message from him: "Today at 7 pm". I noticed that he no longer asked me if I was free or not, he just took it for granted that I would come and give him my ass.  I went, he gave me his load, as usual, and just as I was...

📘 Before you ask (Part 3)

Seeing his muscular body made me worry about my own body. So I decided to start going to the gym to try to build muscle and I signed up for a gym near campus.  I started working out 3-4 times a week, while still meeting with him at least 3 times a week. ...

DEAR VISITOR

We here at IC are so proud of our work, and we’d like to thank you for being a part of our community!
If you’d like to donate, please click on the “DONATE” PayPal button below.
Any and every support is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for being a part of our community and our story.

🧭 MAYBE YOU'D ENJOY READING:
❓ QUIZ YOURSELF:

0 Comments

Share This