๐Ÿ“˜ The Life of Transgressing (Part 9)

Feb 24, 2020

It’s actually really funny how boring my day off was because Hamza doesn’t know how to use What’s App or anything else for messaging more than once in a day or so. Like, I was so used to texting all the time with everyone that I actually forgot how it is when you have a person in your life that you actually have to call. And the problem with calls is: they need to be perfectly timed in order for them to work for both sides. Since he was at work the entire day, I’ve decided to do some me-time. Took a hot, long bath and trimmed some stuff that has been maybe a bit neglected. I got my skin to be even more soft than usual.

As the evening passed and night arrived, I was already extremely bored. But, soon enough I’ve got a call From Hamza that he’s finished with work and is on his way to pick me up. I got ready and went downstairs, and just in time as he was literally arriving down the street.
“Hello, baby.” – he said. Got me a bit confused there. Just last evening he was making me run out of the car with the shittiest weather just to chase his cup of cum, and today I’m getting the baby nickname. Sure, I can play along.
“Hello, how was your day?” – I asked him.
“I was counting minutes to see you. I have a gift for you too.” – he said, handing me a bag with a shirt inside.
“What is this? Why did you buy me a shirt?” – I asked.
“I didn’t buy you a shirt. I brought you my shirt from yesterday’s evening and I’ve also slept in it. I want you to have it in your bet when you sleep, to feel me with you.” – he said and smiled, his eyes were glaring with happiness.
“Thank you, but why are you so nice to me? I thought you said you were going to be tough on me for offending you last night? I mean I don’t mind, I am happy for it, but what has changed?” – I asked carefully.
“My life has been a boring, monotonous pile of non expressed feelings. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of time… First in Afghanistan, then here, learning the language, taking care of my family. I have never really had fun or an opportunity to just feel good about myself. And you give me that feeling. I feel as though I am here to teach you, calm you down, give you peace. And you are here for me to wake me up and give me energy in life. Does that make sense?” – he asked me in a worried tone. Having said that, his head turned away from me, like he was ashamed of asking this question.
“Please don’t turn away from me, Hamza. I feel like there is no point in hiding who I am in front of you. You know about my experience with the video, and how it changed my life. I feel like it made me open up more, be happy about life and risk stuff. I know I am far from ideal, but I do really feel like it is my duty and pleasure to make you happy.” – I answered and took his hand.
“I don’t want to have sex with you tonight. I just want to kiss you and feel you.” – he said, coming closer to me, putting his hand around me and pulling me closer to him in a hug. His lips against mine, his hands holding me tight, his beard against my cheeks, arousing me, making me feel safe.
“I just… I think I am in love with you.” – I said randomly, not even thinking about it. He immediately pulled himself away from me and looked at me in a very weird way.
“I’m sorry” – I said immediately.
“I think I will drive you back home now.” – he replied and turned up the ignition.


On our way back, he was extremely silent. I tried to talk to him, but he was very focused on driving. I’m not sure if he was even watching the road or if he was so shocked by what I said that he just did everything robot style, totally zoned out. I put my hand on his leg, but he ignored it, zero reaction.
He stopped in front of my apartment building and I went out of the car.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” – he said as I was exiting the car, and drove off. It made me really sad that I’ve blurted something so gay in front of him, “I LOVE YOU” what the fuck was I thinking. Of course, he’s mad. I know he has some feelings for me, but love is way too deep for a real man like him to handle in regards to another male person. I guess, knowing what I know about him and his past, I could be happy that he didn’t have a violent reaction. However, I was sad. I really do love him. For whatever reason, I feel safe when I am with him as well.

As fate would have it, it is now me who’s asking for his attention, and he’s just ignoring me completely. Even at work, he says nothing to me except hello, goodbye and some work-related stuff in between. He stopped answering my text messages, and I stopped sending them because I don’t want to be annoying or clingy. If he needs time, he can have it. The longer I am without him, the more I feel like I really am in love with him. Sleeping next to his shirt makes me feel better, but the scent of his body is getting less noticeable as nights pass. The word love has destroyed my relationship with Samer, with Hassan, and now with Hamza as well. It’s a cursed feeling for me – as it seems.

The days have passed and I have finally got an answer from a huge company for a job that would fit my degree level and as my German has gotten much better, I was really happy to go to the job interview and give my best to really start building my life up from where I was right now. I don’t mind working in a restaurant, but it’s absolutely not what I envisioned for myself in the long run.
I asked for a day off when I had my interview and it was actually on that day when I got the first message from Hamza asking me if I was healthy and if everything is ok with me. It made me happy and I went to the job interview with my heart full. It seemed that the job interview went well and that they were happy to speak to me. They said they’re gonna get back to me with the decision, but I wasn’t too optimistic about it.

Thinking that after his message things would change back to how they were was a huge mistake on my behalf. He was still giving me the cold shoulder, and the last message that I wrote him received no answer again. I went to work, then back home, to bed, then to work again. It was as if I was in suspended animation, living out the groundhog day over and over again. Another week has passed and I have received good news from the company where I applied. I’ve got the job and can start at the beginning of the next month. As it was a bit more than two weeks away, I had to give my notice in the restaurant as soon as possible. So the next day I came with the prepared letter of resignation and quit my job, starting the two weeks’ notice effectively.

No surprise that the news spread like crazy fast and I have immediately received a call from Hamza.

“Is it true that you quit your job?” – he asked.
“Yes, I got another job, pays almost triple of what I earn at the restaurant, so I accepted.” – I replied.
The silence on the phone was almost as if it was too loud. My heart was beating fast.
“I am happy for you, you are too smart boy to waste your life here.” – he said convincingly, but I could hear the pain in his voice.
“It changes nothing for us… I am still in…terested in being by your side.” – I almost repeated the forbidden word but corrected myself in time.
“Can we meet?” – he asked.
“I am using my vacation days till the end of my contract so I am available whenever.” – I replied happily.
“OK, I have a day off tomorrow and my wife and kid are visiting relatives, so if you want, you could come to my apartment?” – he said in a much happier tone but still sounded a bit worried to me.
“Yes, I’ll be there!” – I replied. I was kinda shocked to be invited to his home. I know that it might sound funny, but I didn’t think he’d be open to it, especially with having a family. But I guess weirder things have happened so far in my life.

The next day I got ready, bought a gift for him, and went to his place. He didn’t live that far away from me, so I walked. Arriving in front of his apartment building I started to get really nervous. I rang the buzzer and he let me in the stairway. His apartment was on the 1st floor and I could hear the doors opening as I was climbing up the stairs. He was at the doorstep, smiling. I took off my shoes and entered his apartment. It was a small apartment, looked more like a one-person apartment than a family condo, but I guess it was hard for him to afford anything more with his salary, especially since his wife refused to work or even learn the German language. And the influence of Afghan culture was all over the apartment. Starting with old fashioned furniture and oriental carpets, all the way to loud colors and silky materials.


He seemed very happy to see me, but still, he was distant. He didn’t hug me or kiss me, and he was always a few steps distant from me.

“Would you like some tea?” – he asked.
“Oh, I’d love some, but you don’t need to do it. If you want, I can prepare tea for us, just tell me where everything is.” – I answered as he put on the most fuckable smile I’ve ever seen. He seemed happy to hear me say that.
“No, you’re a guest, I will do it. But you can keep me company in the kitchen if you’d like?” – he replied as I agreed to his offer and we moved to the kitchen area.
“I am very happy that you invited me to your home. I also brought you a gift.” – I said, giving him a small bag.
“No, no, I cannot accept it.” – he got really defensive.
“Please, it’s a small gift for you, I am sure you will like it.” – I replied insisting for him to accept the gift.
He thanked me and took the bag, immediately unpacking what was inside.
“Oh, how did you know that’s the cologne I use?” – he was baffled, his eyes almost teared up.
“I love the smell of that cologne on you, so I spent some time at the shop trying out all of them until I found yours. I am glad you like it.” – I said with what I think was the biggest smile ever. I was just so happy to have made him happy.

The tea was prepared quickly as we chatted a little bit about this and that. just the everyday stuff, and I was really trying hard to respect his limits and not get too close to him physically. As we were chilling in the room drinking tea, he invited me to sit closer to him. I sat next to him, and he put his hand around me. We sat in silence and I was really feeling stiff as I didn’t know if I should relax now or not. But soon enough, his hug and the scent of his body made me feel much more relaxed, so I also put my head on his shoulder. He, in return, put his hand on my leg as we continued to just sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“See, when you say love, this is what is on my mind as an association. I don’t think you can love somebody if you only have sex in cars and garages. It made me confused about what you said.” – he started to speak openly.
“I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position.” – I replied.
“I am glad you said it, but it made me realize that I want to say it back to you too. But, the problem is, I am not used to loving somebody, especially another man. I didn’t know what to do with this feeling, so I needed some time… But then just as I was about to make a decision, you quit the job and I realized how awful it would be to lose you from my life.” – he said as he cuddled my hair a bit. I put my hand on his chest and stayed silent.
“It is not about you quitting your job, it is about what I think this is, and it is something special. I have never had those feelings in my life. I just want us to be together…” – he said.
“We are together now.” – I answered.
“Yes, for some hours today, and then it’s back to car and garage again, just sex, maybe for an hour and on some days. But as much as I want sex with you, I also want you entirely, all the time.” – his words were getting harder for him to express.
“So what do you want us to do then. I am here for you whenever you want me to be.” – I said.
“I want you to be mine, and to have you come home to me every day… Or for me to come home to you, seeing your face as it always gets a dumb smile when you see me.” – he added and chuckled, touching my face and lips.
“I can’t say that I know how you feel because I am not in your mind, but I think you are just scared that you won’t see me every day at work and now you just overthink it, trying to find a way to still keep us seeing each other very often. But it is not possible, I respect your life, everything that you have here. It is all about the respect that I have for you actually and I would never want you to risk that… Because if we do it too often, it might happen that your wife finds out, and then it’s an unpleasant situation for you.” – I said.
“I have never loved my wife. I helped her to escape Afghanistan by getting married to her. The only one I love is my daughter, and now you too. So, I don’t care what my wife thinks.” – he said.
“Well, you are older and wiser than me, you’ve been through much more and have still kept your head above water. I trust that you know how to decide for yourself, so my input here is irrelevant.” – I replied.
“It’s not irrelevant.. Look,…” – he said turning over to me as I looked at his beautiful face and his wonderful black hair meshed with some grays too, and added: “I want to leave my wife and I want us to live together.”
“What?” – I was shocked.
“You don’t want it?” – he asked in a strict tone.
“Of course I’d want it, but I am just shocked because I didn’t think the conversation was going in that direction. I have never even dared to dream about something like that, and especially after almost a month of not talking to each other – I thought we were definitely growing apart. So, yes, it is a big surprise for me.” – I replied.
“I have told you why I needed some time, but I am sure that I want this because I really need you in my life.” – he said and kissed me.
“I need you too, each and every day.” – I answered.
“I will deal with this, but it will be a bit messy… So if you would like, we could move closer to the city just to avoid the backlash of me leaving my marriage?” – he asked.
“Hamza, I would move wherever you want us to, as long as you’re happy and we are together. And with my job being near the city center, it would actually be much better for me too.” – I said.
“OK then…” – he said, standing up and added “you have just made an old man happy”.
“Please, you’re not old.” – I said laughing.
“I am much older than you. I hope it won’t make you regret your decision someday.” – he said in a serious tone.
I hugged him and he hugged me. We just stood there in the middle of the room hugging and breathing in the scent of each other’s bodies.
“How I’ve missed your body…” – he said almost without breath.
“I feel so close to you now.” – I replied.

He turned towards me again, took my hand and brought me to the bedroom. My heart was racing as he started to undress for me. It was the first time he did it in the daylight so I was really enjoying the moment, as I didn’t know if I’d relive it again soon. He approached me in his white underwear and started to undress me as well. Slowly, passionately. As he undressed me completely he laid down on the bed and asked me to turn around slowly so that he could see my white body. I did as he asked and he invited me to join him in bed.
I climbed over him and started kissing him, his hand touching my back and his tongue licking mine as passionately as I have never been kissed or touched before. He started kissing my neck as I touched his hairy chest, moaning of pleasure that he was giving me with his intense kissing and licking of my neck.
“I love you.” – he whispered in my ear.
“I love you too.” – I replied.
“Take off my underwear.” – he instructed.
As I moved down to his underwear I could see his big Muslim dick filling up the underwear, showing through the cotton fabric as if it were tight boxer shorts. I started pulling down his underwear as his cock was coming out in its full glory and his hairy balls were looking almost as hard as his dick was.
“Don’t throw them away yet.” – he said, looking at the boxer shorts.
I looked at him as he started to get up on the bed, grabbing me and pushing me down on the bed to lay on my back. He climbed over me, facing me, kissing me and touching my balls and my ass. I could feel his hard dick all over my body as he moved while licking my neck and my chest.
“Oh how long have I wanted to make you my wife.” – he said, slowly pushing his cock between my thighs.
“Can you feel how much I want you?” – he asked.
“Yes, I feel it, I feel you.” – I replied.
“Do you want me to drill you a pussy?” – he asked seductively.
“Yessss….” – I was out of breath.
“Yes what?” – he asked in a sexy but serious tone.
“Yes sir, I want you to drill my ass into a pussy.” – I answered in a slutty way.
“Are you going to be a good wife?” – he asked.
“The best, sir, I will do anything for you sir.” – I was getting even more slutty as my brain was shutting down from anything related to real life and just enjoyed this situation.
“Should I put him inside of you?” – he asked.
“As you wish, sir, my body is for you to use as you see fit.” – I answered.

He took his boxer shorts and put them under my nose and in my mouth.

“Smell them and taste them, it is the juice of my cock and my sweaty balls combined. Breathe it in deeply, the smell of your man will relax your hole.” – he said as I took my first breaths feeling the smell of his sweat, balls, and dick.
“You like the smell of Muslim man’s dick, don’t you?” – he asked and laughed seductively.
“I love your smell, sir.” – I replied.
“OK, now take a deep breath, I will push myself into your boyhole.” – he said.

As I took a deep breath, I could feel his dick making his way through my anus, going in a steady thrust deep into my hole. I was so excited that I couldn’t even feel any pain, even though he lubricated it only using his spit.

“See how easy it is when a real man does it?” – he said as he proceeded to go even deeper.
“Ooohh, take me, sir.” – I moaned loudly.
“You want all of him?” – he asked as he pushed in hard without even waiting for an answer.

The pain has finally started to reach my mind as the pleasure of having him inside of me, destroying me in an animalistic wild way mixed and made the pain endurable. I already had his cock inside of me, but this time, seeing his face as he pleases himself with my hole and as he says dirty stuff to me was a whole new experience. It just turned me on so much, all of it. I felt dirty doing it in the bed where he fucks his wife, but the dirty feeling made it so much hotter. And as I was combining my thoughts with the feeling of his Afghan dick inside of me, smelling his sweat, hearing him moan, seeing him looking at me as he holds it in to fuck me a bit longer – it was all just too much. My dick started to drool cum. I wasn’t cumming but cum was coming out of me as he was pushing his dick in and out, and with every push, another drop of cum came out. I started to shake and moan really loud as this feeling turned into a much deeper feeling inside of me, nothing like I’ve ever felt.

“What is it, did I turn your ass into a pussy already? Is my white wife orgasming on her pussy?” – he teased me as my tension was building up higher and higher. The feeling in me was indescribable, it felt like I was cumming, peeing and all of my muscles were about to explode. I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, the feeling was so intense that I honestly don’t remember seeing or hearing anything else for a couple of seconds. And then the feeling of soothing came as I finally came back to my senses only to hear Hamza moaning, pushing himself in me, cumming and breeding my hole with his babies. Feeling his cum shooting inside of me immediately made me feel at ease and as he collapsed on my naked body, I could feel his heart racing and his sweat dripping all over me. His dick was still twitching inside of me, probably not pumping anything out anymore, but still aroused and sensitive from all the pounding.
As his dick got soft and fell out of my hole, he got down to take a look at my ass.
“It looks beautiful. It is red, soft and loose like a pussy.” – he complimented it, also teasing me. I took his underwear once again to wipe off any of extra saliva or cum that was around and on my hole, and then smelled it once again. I promised myself at that moment that I will always keep these boxer shorts as a memorabilia of the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life.

Just laying in bed with him after sex, peacefully and blissfully, it was all the confirmation I needed (if I even needed one) that the decision to live with him was the right one. I could just feel him like I could have never felt anyone before. We didn’t need to talk, but everything was being said through just being together at the same place at the same time.

“Could I make you something to eat, Hamza, you have burned through a lot of energy?” – I asked while smiling at him.
“No, I’ll do it for both of us. You have to lay down and rest so you can absorb all of my sperm.” – he said with the kinky smile on his face as he stood up and went to the kitchen.

As he was leaving I could not take my eyes off of his beautiful body and ass. I loved how comfortable he was being naked around me. After all, he was my man now.

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