Guest writer: @submaledublin
I am a married bisexual Irish man in my 50s. I grew up in what was a pretty conservative Catholic country. Unlike many younger than me, I didn’t grow up with the Internet. It wasn’t widely available. I didn’t have access to online information the way people do now. I didn’t have the mental vocabulary for things I thought about and there was no help to allow me to understand my thoughts.
So I started out knowing that sex was something between a man and a woman. That was the norm in society. Yet knowing that, I was still conscious of men around me. But I really didn’t know why. Nor did I understand my thoughts. There was no ready access to information for me to even investigate. I was also very aware that I was attracted to the Dominant people. Now I didn’t even have the word ‘Dominant’ in my vocabulary. I just knew what I liked.
It was a gradual realisation on my part that my thoughts were different to others I knew. I knew they would not understand them. Why was I, on the one hand, having sex with women yet at the same time having sexual thoughts about men! Ultimately, I ended up experimenting with men. I enjoyed it but it wasn’t really hitting the right places for me. Something was lacking and it wasn’t what I wanted or needed.
As I got older and as access to information became a bit easier, I could research my feelings and I realised that I had deep submissive feelings. Realisation was actually a great relief. It helped me understand the thoughts I’d been having but didn’t quite understand. I searched out women who were a bit more Dominant than perhaps I’d have sought before. Know what? It was great. It was as if I had come home after a long absence and was in a totally comfortable situation. I loved understanding that I was submissive and wanted to be dominated. It was great yet somehow something was missing. Maybe I was a bit slow on the uptake but it eventually dawned on me that whilst I enjoyed being with a Mistress, my thoughts were more and more focused on a Master. Life is like that sometimes. You’re so busy living it, working, doing family, etc. to have time to devote to you and your thoughts but when you find the time to think about things you begin to realise things more clearly. Well that’s my experience. As a result I realised that what I really wanted and needed was a Master. I wanted his cock, his cum and to be his slut. I use the term slut on purpose. I wanted to be a total sexual object. I wanted to be the man who would be totally available for him.
So I tried to find one. Sure it was fun to an extent trying. But generally all I found were men who liked to top. Not men who were in any way giving off a sense of Superiority. It was that I sought. I used to travel a bit at the time for work, mainly to France and it was there that I met Muslim men.
Physically, they are not necessarily different to other men. Having said that, Arab Muslim men, in my experience are often hairier. But what is different, from those times in France, is that they had a different sense of self to others. It was like they had this inherent Superiority. Like it was a natural part of them.
It was exactly what non-Muslims didn’t have. They could top but not exude a natural dominance. Does that make sense? It does to me.
That sense of Superiority resonated with me. It creates a different reaction in me. I don’t know if it’s down to my cultural upbringing. For example, my rational brain tells me that being an infidel just means that I’m an unbeliever and non-Muslim. But to me it means inferior. That I’m inferior and I feel I am. I’m submissive so it’s a natural thought.
Now, and here is the important part, if you grasp that thought and embrace it, it will set you free. It will allow you to be who you really are. It will allow you to achieve your potential as a submissive!
Muslim men possess an inherent Superiority. Accept it. Give in to it. Allow it to grow in you and you will find that giving yourself to a Muslim man is your Nirvana. They will become your everything. You will feel alive through serving them. They will become your obsession but an obsession that makes you feel at home, makes you feel alive and makes you feel fulfilled by your service to them.
Let yourself feel alive and fulfilled through your service.